Sunday, January 22, 2012

Random Sax Jokes :D

I found these floating about the internet, and just put most here!

Q: What's the difference between a saxophone player and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What's the difference between the creationist theory of the origin of life and a tenor sax? A: The theory doesn't have as many leaks.

Q: How do you get a saxophone player out of your house? A: Pay him (or her) for the pizza!

Q: How many baritone sax players does it take to pop popcorn? A: Two - one to hold the popper and one to shake the stove.

Q: Why did Adolph Sax invent the saxophone? A: He hated mankind but couldn't build a atom-bomb.

Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to saxophone players? A: It saves time in the long run.

Q: What's the difference between a saxophone player and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: If you were in a room with Hitler, Hussein, and Kenny G, with a gun and only two bullets, who do you shoot? A: Shoot Kenny G twice... just to make sure.

How are a saxophone and a guillotine similar? 1. They are both lethal. 2. They are both always sharp. 3. They both work best when dropped from high places.

Which is the ideal place to practice on a saxophone? A: In Saddam Hussein's bedroom. B: Five fathoms under the surface of the Pacific Ocean. C: In a deserted coal mine. D: None of the above. Correct answer: D: None of the above. A saxophone player never, ever practices. The risk of learning to play is much too great.

Contrary to popular belief, the saxophone is a percussion instrument, meant to be beaten by a hammer. A large hammer.

You might notice that there are very few jokes about the clarinet. This is out of sympathy. The clarinet has already been the butt of so many jokes - the saxophone, for instance.

Small wonder we have so much trouble with air pollution in the world, when so much of it has passed through saxophones.

There is a man on a boat that is in a shipwreck. The boat crashes on a jungle island and the man is greeted by natives. In the distance, he hears the sound of drums. He asks what the drums are for and the chief answers, "The drums must not stop!" The man is forced to stay the night in the natives' village. All through the night, the drums kept on going so he was unable to sleep at all. He got up in the morning and went to the chief again, begging him to know why the drums couldn't stop. The chief answered, "Because when drum solo stop, sax solo start!"

A man walks into a meat store looking for some brains for dinner. He looks at the selections: Flute Brains $1/pound Percussion Brains $5/pound Tuba Brains $10/pound Saxophone Brains $100/pound He asks the butcher why saxophone brains are so expensive. The butcher replied, "Do you know how many saxophone players you have to kill to get a pound of brains?"


  1. I didn't get half of them, but on the other half I laughed my ass off =D

  2. haha true kind of hard to decypher :p funny

  3. HAHa nice jokes. I play trumpet so Band humor :P

  4. Haha. You know how bad 80s movies always have a saxophone bit in a romantic/steamy scene? Blade Runner is one.

    We call that a sax crime.